


The Love I found at Hogwarts

by ThexShipperX



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Jegulus, Multi, Slow Burn, anyways possibly smut, did I mention slow burn?, extremly fucking slow burn, jily, wolfstar, yes slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-28 18:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30143778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThexShipperX/pseuds/ThexShipperX
Summary: Long Marauders Fanfic.  Inspired by All the young dudes.Also, this gonna have a happy ending! IDC about war( Voldermort will lose.)
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 3





	1. School?

**Author's Note:**

> So chapter length will be mostly short (1000 words) course I hate to write long chapters but when I do sometimes have over 1000 then that's a wonder. Anyways enjoy! Also, excuse my English it's my 2nd language but I know it pretty well  
> Also, the same story is on Wattpad. (Raindrafts)
> 
> An old man comes for a visit.

A sudden bang was made from my door. I shot wide awake even though I knew what's up. I groaned as a sharp pain shot through my body. Last night was the full moon and it didn't go really well, _when has it been huh.  
_

  
The bang on my door was just other kids from the Orphan house. Which means I have to get up and do the daily stuff I have to do.  


I quickly dressed up and washed my face and my teeth as I practically ran downstairs limping of course. _Only seven more years and I can get the hell out of here._ I told myself over and over the years. I hated it here everyone was horrible to me but hey at least I got food and a bed to sleep in...

'' Here is the list with things you have to do today.''', the harsh voice said. The harsh voice was the caretaker she was responsible for everyone until we all hit the age. Why does she take care of some orphans if she hates us all that much, makes no sense.

I nodded and went along to the kitchen. I had to prepare breakfast well to help prepare it. I was only eleven no way they would let me cook.

The pain was still shooting around me as I moved. I helped with breakfast and did some other stuff. After breakfast was served I sat in the corner and quickly ate until the caretaker, Milanda called me.

'' Remus get to my office right now!'', called Milanda. Anxiety filling up, _I didn't do anything bad. But what if I did?_ I quickly hurried to her office. As I stopped in front of the door taking deep breaths and knocked until I heard that she called in and I went in. 

Inside there was another man. He was very tall and looked pretty old. I stood straight as possible and as respectful as possible and waited till I could speak.

'' Remus this man wants to talk to you about something. Be respectful or else.'', she said as she passed by me and went out of the room leaving me and the man alone. Now I was really panicking.  


  
The man stared at me and I moved awkwardly until the man spoke.  


  
'' Remus, My name is Albus Dumbledor. I am a headmaster at a special school for kids like you.'', the man suddenly said, sitting on the nearest couch signaling I could do too. I quickly went and sat down and let the man speak.  


  
'' Right, the school you'd go is very far and very...secretive so I must know if you'd be able to come to it. In school, you'd stay there and learn and in the holidays if desired you can come back here but in summer you have to come back here."  


  
I listened closely but as soon as I heard I could leave this place even for a bit I was ready for anything. I didn't care what it was. I just wanted to get out of here.  


  
'' How is this school special?'', I said quietly trying not to sound disrespectful. The man made a small laugh and then pulled out a stick.  


  
'' This here is my wand, Remus. With a wand, you can create magic. '', the man said. I believed in magic after all I was a werewolf with no idea how I became one. But had nightmares of fragments of how it happened.  


  
'' And your parents were also part of this world, well only your father.'', the man said as he put his wand back where it was. _Does he know my parents?? Are they alive and they just didn't want me???_ Millions of questions were filling up in my head without noticing I have zoned out.  


'' No sadly your parents aren't alive.'', the man said as I looked back at him. _Can he read minds??_  


  
The man just nodded and explained everything to me about the school as I listened. If I wasn't a werewolf I would have thought this man was full-on insane.  


  
'' So Remus, what do you say? Would you like to be part of this world? And also we'd help you with your small problem.'', the man said smiling as I quickly nodded. Anything to get out of here and they would even help me with my werewolf issue.  


  
The man stood up and Milanda walked back in staring at me and then at the man. Milanda said I could go back and finish doing the stuff I had to do as she and the man were still in the office talking.  


  
The evening soon came and I was lying in my bed hoping the day would come much faster when I could leave.  



	2. Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is patiently waiting for the day. Some ''neighbors'' are giving him hard time. Later he gets on the train and meets someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW Rape mentions, suicide mentions (Ill mark also in the text so you can skip it)

The school would start on 1st September. Till then was still one week left and Remus was getting overly happy for the first time he can ever remember. For the last week in Orphan house, he was full of energy and really overjoyed which made the other kids annoyed that he was happy.

Dumbledore had sent Remus stuff for school and has given him also the luggage for the stuff, when Remus got them he was really confused and didn’t think he would ever understand the stuff there was.

_What if I Fail?What if I make a fool out of myself… What if no one likes me at the school???_

Remus quickly calmed down and continued to go through stuff. Last week he and Dumbledore went to get a wand. Yes, it was really confusing but Remus got the hang of it, how to hold it and stuff.

He heard footsteps so he quickly placed all the stuff back in the luggage and slid it under his bed. _‘’ None of the other kids can know what a freak they live together, so do not go around talking about that school or the stuff you’ve got, understood?’’_

The voice kept repeating in his head and it scared him, practically all grown women scared him, he hasn’t met any nice ones so it was understandable.

He got up from the floor as soon as he heard the door slightly open and for his unluck, the one guy he hated with all his gut walked in followed by his little minions. He kept his mouth shut and didn’t say anything. Something he has learned from the years he has lived here is to not speak first or talk back….the punishment is not worth it.

‘’ Remus.’’, the one in the middle talked first his name was Adam and he was just three years older than me but everyone younger than him or the same age as him feared him. I gulped still standing stiff in one place, then the guy on left, Jack laughed.

_**(Suicide mention from here and Rape too)** _

‘’ Why do we even waste our time on him, look at this loser!’’, Jack spat loudly. The caretaker wouldn’t care, she hated Remus also practically everyone either hated him or just didn’t pay attention to him. There used to be one guy but he left and later Remus found out he died. _Suicide._ He would have never let anyone hurt Remus but as soon as he was gone everything went downhill.

‘’ Because he thinks he’s so perfect just because he got accepted into some private school or whatever.’’, the guy on right said as he leaned next to the door. His name was Leo. For his age, he looked pretty good and Remus hated himself that he even allowed himself to think like that.

‘’ I don’t care, idiots!’’, Adam suddenly spoke full of anger going off of him. Remus looked anywhere else than at them he knew they hated when someone was looking at them. He also knew what was gonna happen next. _He’s gonna get a goodbye present…._

‘’ Let’s get this over with I’ve got places to be.’’, Jack said as he was smiling mad. The three boys locked the door and walked towards Remus. 

‘’ Now you know the rules, make a sound and it will be worse. Take it and we might show mercy, understood? Leo said as he closed the blinds and windows too. Remus’s eyes were filled with tears and suddenly a hit from Adam was hit.

‘’ Pathetic cry baby already crying, we’ll give you something to cry about!’’, Remus covered his face with one hand holding the tears in and just praying that this all will be gone soon.

(Tw end)

Just like that the sun soon turned into the night sky which felt like years have gone but it was only a few hours. He hated himself, he hated everything. He just sat there on the floor trembling and all naked. Scars and bruises on his body as tears streamed down his cheeks praying he didn’t make any sounds or else it will be worse.

Even if he was a werewolf he had no idea how he could activate the healing process. Milanda had always after the full moons just put bandages over him and soon the scars would have been healed. But now Remus all that he could think of was just _why him…._

_Why was he alone? Why did everyone leave him? He was all alone in this world._

He unknowingly crawled into his bed and went under the blankets hoping he could fall asleep fast and soon as possible the day would come that he could leave. Hoping the life at the school would be much, much more different and hopefully great. But he knew hope was not for him, hope had only led him into failure. Then everything went black and he fell asleep.

For the following days Remus had only gone out to eat and to do his chores and as soon as possible quickly into his room with the door and everything locked. He didn’t care what Milanda would say because of the locked door but at least it would keep them out.

The day he could leave came fast as Remus had counted the hours till minutes. He quickly got the stuff and practically sprinted out of the house into the car. Milanda came only a few minutes after and dropped him off at the train station. 

Dumbledore had sent him a letter telling him where to go at first he thought he was crazy that he wasn’t able to find the platform until he remembered what Dumbledore had said.

And so Remus looked around so non-magic people weren’t looking and ran towards the wall hoping he wouldn't crash and then it felt as if he was sucked into a wall and suddenly a much colder air hit him. It was much darker than the other train station so he quickly went on a train and hoped to find an empty compartment. He gave his bag to someone as they had realized Remus was new to all this. Thankfully Remus had found an empty compartment and he just curled into the corner looking out of the window seeing all the happy families saying goodbye to their children, Remus wished he had that he but had no one...

Suddenly the door went open and there stood a short smallish boy with dirty blond hair and full eyes of joy.

‘’ Sorry, could I sit here too? The other compartments are full or they just don’t want me there.’’, the smaller boy asked, fidgeting with his hands. Remus just nodded and the smaller boy sat on another side near the door.


	3. Train accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus has a small chit-chat with his new so-called friend. Remus gets a panic attack.

The train soon started to go, a few minutes into the train ride Remus and the other boy in the compartment were really quiet...and awkward. The silence was too loud and Remus wanted to break it but he was afraid to speak first. Clearly, the blonde guy was much smaller than Remus but Remus was still afraid so he just sat there and hoped the smaller boy soon said something.

And thankfully he did.’’My name is Peter, Peter Pettigrew. What about you?’’, the smaller boy suddenly spoke making Remus jump a bit. ‘’ I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.’’, Peter added as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

‘’ It’s fine, my name is Remus, Remus Lupin.’’, Remus said as he faced the boy being more polite. Peter smiled awkwardly at the sudden attention but brushed it off. 

‘’ Know a house you’ll be in yet?’’, Peter said as he took something out of his bag. What Remus could smell was chocolate. Remus' mouth felt like a waterfall he hadn’t tasted chocolate in such ages. The last time he tasted was when…. _he_ was still alive…

‘Houses?’’. Remus quickly snapped back to reality as he had noticed he started zoning out.

‘’ Yeah we have Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and Slytherin.’’, said Peter as he unwrapped the chocolate.

‘’ Want one?’’, Peter had noticed him staring and soon felt embarrassed so he refused. ‘’No thanks.’’, Remus answered politely as possible.

Remus looked back at the window and wished the train would move faster, he could not sit anymore. Then Peter spoke again. ‘’I think I’ll be in Hufflepuff, I’ve been dreaming of this day ever since my mom had mentioned it and I had understood what she meant’’, Peter said between taking a bar of chocolate in his mouth.

‘’ Oh,’’, was all Remus could say. He had no idea what Peter was talking about.’’ You got no idea what I’m talking about, do you?’’Peter said, letting out a small laugh. Remus fidgeted with his hands as he was embarrassed to look anywhere else than his hands.

Peter asked if Remus wanted him to explain everything and Remus gladly did. After some time Peter had stopped talking and went somewhere out of the Compartment leaving Remus asleep.

But Remus couldn’t Dream. All he could do was see nightmares of everything that had happened with them. And including the boy's death notice. Remus shook awake instantly with cold all around him.

He couldn't breathe and Remus started to panic even more. He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or awake or if all the Hogwarts theme was a dream and he was just in a black dark room. His vision went blurry, and then everything was pitch black.

Remus was on the floor trying to get a hold of something. 

_Nothing._

It was as if everything had disappeared. Nothing made sense anymore. Scratching his neck begging to breathe again let out more energy.

Then he didn’t feel alone anymore someone was in the room with him. Begging they’d help him and not to do anything awful. Suddenly for a quick minute, he felt alone again, and then there were more people. He felt like someone picked him up and tried to talk to Remus. He heard voices but couldn't make out what they were saying.

‘’ Remus…’’, He heard someone or something slightly whisper. But actually, it was a loud noise. He felt something touched him so he grabbed whatever the hell that was.

‘’ Remus!’’ Now he came back to all of the senses he could hear again and stuff got lighter. He tried to take a sharp breath in but failed.  


In Front of him were two blurred people. One of them snapped his fingers and Remus as second nature looked at them and heard ‘’Concentrate cmon’’, faint whispering continued until he started to concentrate and came back to more of his senses.

‘’ Good, c'mon try and take deep breaths…’’, Remus knew that was a boy's voice he tried to take deep breaths but he kept hiccuping and failing. Then he tried more and finally got one. He kept repeating doing that and soon sat there with his eyes closed relieved he could breathe again as the two other boys sat in front of him looking at the boy worried.

‘’ God that was scary…’’, Peter suddenly added as he sank into his seat next to him sat a boy with glasses and dark hair. ‘’ Hey there bud, everything alright now?’’ the dark-haired boy asked, looking at him still with a worried gaze.

‘’ Y-yea, thank you.’’, Remus thanked politely as he sat up more straight. ‘’James Potter, and you are?’’, the dark boy handed his hand introducing him, Remus accidentally flinched and James took the hand away. ‘’Sorry mate.

‘’ It’s fine, I’m Remus Lupin.’’, James smiled and stood up. ‘’Alright then have a rest we still have a long ride ahead of us.’’ Peter and Remus nodded as Peter fell asleep but Remus was too afraid to sleep again.

After some hours went Remus was just staring blankly out of the window with no thoughts running through his head, that was the nicest feeling when you didn’t think of anything.

Then Remus had to use the bathroom but he didn’t wanna wake up Peter so he just went out himself hoping he’d find it soon. With no luck, he wandered around the train for about 10 minutes until he got on different train sides and walked through the few rude kids.

‘’ God another Mudblood.’’, someone snickered behind him as he ignored all of it and went on to find the bathroom only still hearing some comments made even if he didn’t know what they meant.

‘’ _Where the hell can you even find a bathroom in here??’’_ Remus said to himself as he was starting to get angry and. Then someone went towards him as they saw he looked like a lost puppy….and he was.

‘’ Hey! What are you wandering here?’’, a guy with longish white hair and ice-cold eyes stared at him. _He looks like he’s made from snow…_

Remus snapped out of his thoughts and answered rather quickly he knew what would happen if he waited around. ‘’ I’m just looking for a bathroom’’, Remus said quietly suddenly stuck with his voice not wanting to be heard.

‘What? God speak up, don't they teach you mudbloods about manners for older people?’’The guy laughed, sounding now some angrier than before.

‘’’ I said I was looking for the bathroom!’’, Remus yelled slapping his hand over his mouth realizing he practically yelled at an older figure. Remus quickly passed through the guy and rushed towards the door but one of the others put a foot out and Remus hit the floor hard and he heard everyone laugh.

His eyes started to fill up with tears as he ran to no idea where luckily he ran into a redhead girl.’’ Whoa, you okay?’’, the girl asked him as she saw the tears daring to spill. ‘’Here follow me.’’, She led Remus to one of the bathrooms to calm him down. The Remus chuckled softly. ‘’ I was searching for a bathroom, thank you,’’ Remus said wiping his face.


	4. The sorting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first years get sorted. Remus finally stands up and speaks his mind about Sirius's tantrum.

The train soon arrived at some kind of destination everyone had Uniforms on. The older ones had different colored ties and the younger ones like Remus and Peter had casual ones. Peter had explained that those different tie colors were the house colors. So where the sorting would happen Remus and Peters's color would change.

All the younger ones were led by someone older to a giant man near the lake. And in front of the lake in the distance stood a beautiful-looking castle that was shining extremely in dark skies.

The giant man led the younger ones into the boat and led them towards the castle.

Soon after the boat ride and seasickness, they were all standing near the biggest door some of them have seen. 

After some time an older woman was walking towards them and Remus had stiffened having his thoughts run wild. What if she’s like Milanda.., Remus thought to himself looking down at the floor.

‘’Hello, and welcome to Hogwarts new students. I really hope you enjoy your stay here.’’, the older woman had said in a stern voice.

‘’Follow me if you please.’’, the woman had said again and everyone gathered up and followed her.

Everyone was led through halls into a huge room where there were huge long tables filled with other people, students. All sorted into colors.

Remus started to feel anxious as the older ones had stared at the new ones who came in. The women led us to the end of the platform where the man who came by the orphan house stood. There also was a small chair with an oldish brown hat.

The woman went up to the man and nodded.

The man gave a long speech and after that, the women could talk.

‘’When you hear your name come up and get sorted into your house.’’, The woman who was called Professor McGonagall said.

One by one everyone got called and sent to their house table. Peter was sorted into Gryffindor, Lily, and James too, now I was hoping to be in Gryffindor too as Peter was there too and he and I somehow were friends.

‘’Remus Lupin!’’, someone called and took me out of my daydreaming. I quickly looked in the direction I heard my name and saw that the woman was calling me up.

And here it went, an anxious feeling as everyone's eyes were on me.

_Breath. Remus breathe._

I took deep breaths and the woman placed the hat on me and suddenly I heard a voice.

_‘’ Remus lupin, hmmm.’’, the voice said._

_‘’ Your father was a student too, was a great Ravenclaw man. You’ll do wonders in Ravenclaw.’’,_ the voice said once again. How did they know my father? I didn’t even know anything about him.

_‘’ But now the bravery is strong. Hmm hard.’’,_ the voice spoke.

_‘’ Alright then, GRYFFINDOR!’’,_ a sudden yell like ringing through my ears, and The colors on my robes changed to deep red.

I jumped up and went to where I saw Lily, James, and Peter and smiled.

Then when another boy was called up and the hat had said Gryffindor the boy's expression was down and looked as if all colors from him had faded.

‘’No, wait! I can’t be in Gryffindor! The hat made a mistake. I’m supposed to be in Slytherin!’’, the boy said panicking. 

‘’What's so bad about Gryffindor?’’. I mumbled under my breath but James had heard me.

‘’He’s Sirius Black. The Back family has been in Gryffindor for centuries.’’, James said.

‘’I’m sorry Black, but the hat doesn’t make mistakes. Now go and sit by the table.’’, The woman had said and Sirius still had the panicking look on his face. His heartbeat is also very loud and fast.

The boy sat down a bit further than from me James Lily and Peter, he had his hands down on the table and his hand buried in his hands.

‘’Maybe we should talk to him? He seems pretty shaken up about being in Gryffindor.’’, Lily suddenly said.

‘’No, let him be and deal with it, It’s not so bad being sorted into the coolest house there is'' James said, sounding a bit pissed.

But I was on Lily’s side, maybe he needs someone right now or anything. If James was right about the so-called Black family being in Slytherin which was the Green house, then maybe something would happen. Or his family would do something. But families were supposed to be nice, right?

The sorting ceremony as Peter had called it ended pretty soon after the boy's outburst who was still grumpy. After the ceremony was done food magically appeared on our tables right next to us and I nearly flew back to the other side of the hall.

The food was so delicious. I hadn’t noticed I had been very hungry so I just grabbed whatever came to touch my hand.

After everyone had eaten, the first years, which was me, Peter, Lily, James, and all others, were led to our dorms. The boys and girls were separated into their own sides of dorms, and we also had to memorize the password so we could get in our common rooms, as the older students who led us explained.

I was sorted into one room with Peter, James, and the boy, Sirius.

_This is gonna be fun,_ I thought to myself as Sirius was still sulking.

We unpacked all of our stuff and then James and Peter were talking while I sat on my bed with the book the school's headmaster, Dumbledore had given me.

Sirius on the other side was still pissed and grumpy and no one dared to talk to him. But I could feel James was getting pissed at Sirius sulking.

After some while, I had enough of this tension and finally said something, which I would later regret even talking to him.

‘’Can you like stop being a drama Queen of being sorted into a different house than Slytherin?’’, I said way too laud than intended.

James and Peter had stopped talking and looked between me and Sirius who was looking at me with fire in his eyes. _Well, now I’m pissed._

‘’What? Way to the sensitive truth you have heard? Get over it. It's not the end of the world.’’, I said shutting my book shut.

‘’Who do you even think you are to talk to me like that, do you have any idea who my family is?’’, Sirius suddenly said jumping off of his bed and walking towards my bed, I did the same cause someone has to say something.

‘’Well as I have heard they have raised some Drama Queen kid who cannot accept the truth or something different!’’, and now my heart was racing, I’ve never stood up to anyone, but the wolf inside me had enough.

The boy now looked at me way more pissed than ever.

‘’Unlike you all blood traitors, I had to be in Slytherin! Not here with you peasants.’’, Sirius said, pushing me a bit.

‘’What the fuck is your problem? You think we want _you_ here?!WE would be better in one dorm with anyone else than you!’’, I said, getting closer and more pissed and more out of control of what I say.

‘’I’ve no idea who you are but I couldn’t give 0 shit to know you, you’re the typical brat who thinks can get whatever they want by throwing a fucking tantrum! Well, get over it. You won't get your way!’’, I said now more in the lead and pushing him harder back.

‘’So stop acting like a fucking princess and accept the fact that you’re here!’’ I said, stepping away, my heart almost jumping out of my stomach.

Sirius just stood there anger with sadness replaced. And speechless.

_What if I went too far?_

I looked at James and Peter and they also had the look of not knowing what's the next move. But what I questioned more was… _where did all of that come from…?_

What if I had shifted into a wolf when my heart was racing mad? They would know my secret and then they wouldn't want to be with me in one room...

How am I gonna even hide the fact that I’m a werewolf for the past years?


End file.
